Speak Out

Hey guys How are ye? I still have no update on my health from my last post so ill let ye know when i do. I was at a hen in Galway the weekend for 1 of my amazing friends. Shes not getting married until next year but she lives in Australia and we won't see her again until next year. It was a mad weekend and i would highly recommend Galway. I had my own hen there and both weekends were amazing. Now onto what this post is actually about. I have been wondering should i write this for the longest time and a conversation i had the weekend really sparked something in me to share this with ye all, before i tell ye all i just want ye to know im not sharing this for pity or attetention im sharing it with the hope that it gives someone else the strenght to speak out about this subject or to let them know that you can get through it. There is help out there and it will get better. When i was 5 i was sexually molested by someone i loved and trusted. The persons identity doesn't matter this post isnt about revealing the person or outing the person. I owe nothing to the person but i dont feel anyone would benefit from knowing who it is. Those closest to me know so i dont see the point in telling everyone. I was 5, it happened once (which is one too many times) i was told not to tell anyone because nobody would believe me and id be taken away. I told an adult i trusted with my life the very next day because even at the fragile innocent age of 5 i knew it was very wrong and i was believed straight away i was taken for tests to the family doctor which confirmed my story i had to go to the rape crisis centre ( i wasn't raped ) but they obviously deal with more than just rape. I had to go for counciling a few times and i honestly remember every single bit of it. My childhood was robbed i started feeling really anxious around the age of 12. I started drinking at 13. Did shit at school because i honestly didnt give a shit about it i drank half a litre of vodka at 14 and fell into a river and almost drowned but honestly i didn't care. I didn't want to die but i didn't care if i did if that makes sense. The fact i was molested was never in my head but it was obviously consuming me. At 16 i met my first love and broke my virginty at 18 and i cried straight after because the night my innocence was taken when i was 5 came flooding back to me. We eventually broke up but he was great at the time but obviously we were young. Looking back on my life though i know that night made me make a lot of stupid mistakes. When my eldest daughter turned 5 i couldn't get my head around how someone would want to hurt a tiny innocent child but i eventually learned to let it go and look at the positives in it which are it happened once and i was believed instantly which alot of kids aren't or its swept under the carpet and it goes on for years and because i spoke out even though i was warned not to it stopped... the point of this post is PLEASE PLEASE speak out if someone has touched you in a way you know wasn't right or normal because there is so much help out there. Don't let it define you because you have so much to offer the world. If i can inspire 1 person to speak out and get help then it will have been worth it. I know its scary but trust me it will be ok. Im here if you need to talk. My facebook/instagram are to the right of this post. Lorraine xxx