Questioning it All

Hey all

I'm just lying here in bed at 2 43 am and I can't sleep I'm one of the biggest worries in the world I'm lying here thinking I'm sick but I think this all the time I'm a hypochondriac and I'm always googling symptoms of this and that but realistically if I took care of myself I wouldn't feel sick all the time or tired I don't eat properly or sleep properly I never exercise I start diets or lifestyle changes and they all last for 3 weeks max and then I'm back to square 1. I really want to live a long healthy life and be there for my 2 daughters and my amazing fiance (very soon to be husband) I just can't seem to break the circle. I would be open to any help or suggestions because honestly I'm going out of my mind. Since starting my blog I have fallen more in love with make up than ever and I am so happy to be doing it on clients who come to me trusting my abilities even though I'm not qualified and honestly don't feel 100 % confident about doing it yet but feel so grateful that people are confident enough to let me put make up on their faces. I am working so hard on getting a bigger following but it's proving harder than I ever thought and some days I wonder why I bother. Then one of my followers asks me a question or confides in me for some reason and I think ya this is why I do it. I would also love to start a YouTube channel because I get so many make up related questions on my Snapchat every day I would love to just put it all on a video once a week but honestly I wouldn't know where to begin.. I have a laptop slower than a herd of turtles and I wouldn't know how to edit if someone drew a diagram. It's hard trying to be a mom, blogger, fiance, daughter, sister and friend besides throwing a YouTube channel in the mix but it's what I want and I'll eventually get around to it all.. what annoys me is that's what I think about last thing at night and first thing in the morning which is why I should be making it happen besides writing about it.. I'm almost 30 and i would love to be a healtier version of myself with a career by the time I'm 31. I would love to make this blogging, make up and hopefully youtubing a paid career. 90 % of any of the products I use, review or giveaway are bought and if not I state that so all opinions are honest. I wouldn't lie to ye so ye rush out and spend your hard earned money... anyway I'm just having a rant/ vent here so forgive me for the bable... this is what being awake at this hour does to me lol..

Until next time
Thanks for reading
Lorz xxx